He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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