How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
