ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
