just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
