i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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