It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
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