Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
