So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
