I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
