it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
