She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
