i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
