Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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