im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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