I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
