If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Randomize
