It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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