Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
