i will never coherently bang her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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