going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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