He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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