So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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