i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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