Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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