One girl and one boy is just not enough.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
