Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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