I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
