It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
