are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
