Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
