You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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