the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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