He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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