are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
