It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
