I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
