I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
did you just send me my own nude
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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