I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
