im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
