you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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