Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
