either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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