bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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