Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
