Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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