whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
