I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
