I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
