the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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