so that wasnt chicken after all
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
